How does toxic positivity harm teachers?
A positive outlook can improve outcomes and job satisfaction, but there’s a fine line between healthy optimism and toxic positivity. When positivity is the only allowable frame, and real struggles and emotions are ignored, a school culture can become toxic. Toxic positivity is the excessive emphasis on maintaining a positive attitude at all times, even when acknowledging struggles would be more appropriate or helpful. Toxic positivity can be distinguished from helpful optimism or healthy coping because it usually makes you feel worse about an already difficult circumstance. Working in a culture of toxic positivity can be harmful to teachers’ mental and physical health and can limit productivity and trust in a school. A healthy culture leaves space for safely expressing all concerns and emotions, without getting stuck in negativity.
What does toxic positivity look like?
Toxic positivity involves dismissing any emotions, reactions, and experiences that aren’t viewed as positive and replacing them with shallow reassurances. These reassuring statements usually come from well meaning colleagues and leaders, but they make the situation worse. Here are some examples:
Just look on the bright side.
Think happy thoughts.
Everything happens for a reason.
It could be worse.
Many of us internalized these messages in childhood, and we are rewarded for using them. What makes them harmful to teachers?
Invalidation, Guilt, and Shame
When teachers raise legitimate concerns or share real struggles, toxic positivity sends the message that their concerns and feelings aren’t valid. A teacher in a toxic culture may feel guilty for disrupting the good vibes of the organization and may feel ostracized and isolated for having concerns or feelings which are perceived as negative. Toxic positivity can impact mental health because resisting and suppressing emotions can actually intensify emotions. Rather than experiencing sadness and frustration and finding healthy ways to cope, teachers learn to suppress. Avoiding the outward expression of emotion doesn’t diminish the inner emotional experience. In other words, suppression doesn't make the emotion go away, the emotion just sticks around longer and intensifies. This can lead to unhealthy coping habits, which impact both physical and mental health.
Lack of Authenticity and Connection
When teachers are compelled to mask real feelings and struggles, when they feel pressured to put on a happy face, they may experience a greater sense of loneliness and isolation. Genuine connection requires honest communication and authenticity. By acknowledging each other's true feelings and providing support without judgment, we create safe spaces. Emotional honesty is a necessary component of trust. When teachers can express their real feelings and be received with nonjudgment and support, they feel seen and valued. Teaching is difficult enough, and teachers need to know they aren’t struggling alone.
Escalating Issues and Problems
Ignoring real issues is rarely a productive approach, as most problems tend to intensify when not addressed. Toxic positivity leads to avoidance instead of improvement. While leaders may be tempted to avoid teacher complaints, dissatisfaction with the status quo can drive schools to improve and achieve better outcomes. Some tension is necessary for creative problem solving. When we acknowledge the current reality of the people we serve, we can create a vision of a better reality. The gap between the current reality and the vision of a better reality is the fuel we need to make change. Toxic positivity can blind us to opportunities to grow and change. And when teachers have a safe space to communicate openly about issues, they also feel empowered to offer potential solutions.
What can we do instead?
It can be uncomfortable to hold space for someone who is struggling. It can be uncomfortable to acknowledge an issue or problem. But being uncomfortably real has big benefits for a school culture. It starts with listening and validating the experiences of others. We don’t have to solve it; overhelping can be toxic, too. Just replacing toxic phrases with validating phrases is helpful.
Replace these phrases:
Just look on the bright side.
Think happy thoughts.
Everything happens for a reason.
It could be worse.
With these phrases:
That sounds really hard.
Seems like that is weighing on you.
It’s ok to feel that way.
I’m here for you.
Reconditioning
Toxic positivity can have a detrimental impact on individual teachers and the school. It can undermine well-being, connection, trust, and growth. Just as toxic positivity gets conditioned into a culture, we can condition ourselves toward realistic optimism instead. We can learn to acknowledge the struggles without getting stuck. We can validate and support those who are struggling, and by doing so, build stronger teams. It’s important to be hopeful, and it’s important to be real.
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