Curiosity Over Judgment for Teachers

Be curious, not judgmental is a quote often attributed to Walt Whitman. However, scholars disagree about the quote’s origin. Ted Lasso fans will remember Ted saying it during a game of darts. Regardless of it’s origin, the quote delivers powerful advice for educators. If we’re not careful, judgmental thoughts can become habitual, and those thoughts can be depleting. Have you ever noticed how drained you feel after a day filled with judgment, whether it’s directed at yourself, your students, colleagues, or even strangers? Judgment feels heavy, and it takes up space in our already overloaded minds. When we constantly assess and critique, our brains work overtime, leaving us more stressed and less present in the moment. As teachers, our energy is one of our most precious resources, and replacing judgment with curiosity can recharge our educator batteries.

Why do we judge?

Judgment is often automatic. It comes from a mix of social conditioning, personal insecurities, and a deep-seated desire for control. We judge because:

It gives us a sense of superiority – When we judge others, we momentarily boost our own feelings of worth. In a moment of self-loathing, we may catch ourselves thinking, “At least I’m not as disorganized as that teacher.”

It helps us make sense of the world – Sorting people and situations into categories makes life feel more predictable and manageable. Our overloaded brains are always looking for patterns and shortcuts.

It protects us from vulnerability – If we criticize others first, we don’t have to examine our own shortcomings as closely. Judgmental thoughts can become a distraction and keep us from the discomfort of examining our own lives.

It feels like a path to motivation – We think criticism will help us make progress, but more often than not, self-judgment leads to guilt, anxiety, or inaction rather than meaningful improvement.

It can be a projection – What we tend to judge in others may be the very things we dislike in ourselves. When we catch those judgmental thoughts creeping up, we can use them as a springboard for reflection.

The Hidden Toll of Judgment

At first glance, judgment might seem like a harmless mental habit. But the truth is, it exhausts us and needlessly depletes our mental and emotional resources. It can also become a barrier in relationships, leading us to feel disconnected with others. Judgment damages our confidence and sense of efficacy. Consider how the following scenarios could impact your energy and impact during a typical school day.

Self-Judgment - You planned a lesson that flopped. Instead of viewing it as a learning experience, you tell yourself, “I’m a terrible teacher.” This self-criticism zaps your confidence and makes it harder to try new approaches.

Judging Students - A student constantly interrupts. Your mind labels them as “disrespectful” instead of considering what might be driving the behavior (anxiety, lack of engagement, or trouble at home). This judgment builds frustration and distance rather than connection and solutions.

Judging Colleagues - A co-worker leaves right after dismissal every day, and you assume they’re not as dedicated. These assumptions create unnecessary resentment and division. But what if they have caregiving responsibilities or are working on lesson plans at home?

How to Lessen the Judgment Habit

Judgment may be habitual, but we can learn to dial it down and shift to a more curious, compassionate mindset for ourselves and others. Here’s how:

Practice Curiosity with Others - When you catch yourself judging, pause and get curious. Instead of, “That student is lazy,” try, “I wonder what’s going on with them today?” Curiosity opens the door to empathy and problem-solving. Rather than feeling harsh and heavy, curiosity is energizing and motivating.

Assume Positive Intent - A colleague didn’t return your email? Maybe they’re overwhelmed. A parent seemed short with you? They might be struggling with something at home. Assuming positive intent reduces unnecessary frustration and allows for more grace in interactions. We have no way of knowing if people are doing the best they can, but it feels better to assume they are.

Practice Curiosity with Yourself - Replace self-judgment with constructive reflection. Instead of, “I’m never as patient as I should be in the afternoon,” try asking yourself questions. “What’s going on with me in the afternoon? What do I need? What might be helpful?” Getting curious about yourself and the actions you take (or don’t take) can help you make changes instead of getting stuck.

Practice Self-Compassion - Would you say to a friend what you say to yourself? If not, rewrite your inner dialogue with the kindness you’d offer someone else. Give yourself the same grace you extend to your students. Instead of judging yourself, try encouraging yourself.

Limit Your Exposure to Judgment-Filled Spaces - Social media is often a breeding ground for judgment. Take breaks from spaces that fuel comparison, outrage, or negativity, and notice how much lighter you feel.

The Energy Boost of Letting Go

When we release the habit of judgment, we create space for connection, creativity, and resilience. Instead of being drained by negativity, we conserve our energy for what truly matters—engaging with students, supporting colleagues, and bringing our best selves to the classroom. Letting go of judgment isn’t about ignoring reality; it’s about approaching it with a mindset that sustains rather than depletes us. The next time you catch yourself in judgment, of yourself or others, pause. Take a breath. Take a beat. Choose curiosity, compassion, and grace. You will be a more energized and impactful teacher and a happier and healthier human.

Get our best Teacher Recharge tools delivered right to your mailbox each week. Sign up today.